3 Ways To Master Your Inner Strength in Midlife

Midlife is a time when you start to ask, "Who am I now? What's next?"

Change is, for women, inevitable. It's easy to lose your courage and stop believing in yourself.

Challenges are everywhere and you wonder if you have what it takes to actually make it through in one piece. 

The answer is YES YOU CAN! Enter the "Beautiful Warrior".

Who is she?

 A beautiful warrior is a woman. A woman just like you and me, who turns her midlife experiences into powerful tools for transformation, growth and empowerment. 

She's a beacon of courage, of resilience, of strength, who navigates life's challenges with the grace of a swan.

In this episode, Life Coach Bernice McDonald shows you 3 Ways to Master Your Inner Strength:

1. Recognize the Power of Experience
2. Embrace Your Courage
3. Radiate Your Beauty

There is no one like you and that means there's no one like you who can live your life with as much mastery as you can.

Come on in and be transformed!

Download here:  FREE e-Book:  How To Find Your Passionately Personal Midlife Mission

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Are you in the struggle of navigating midlife with grace and power? I hear ya!

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Click this link and embrace your journey as a Beautiful Warrior today.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Hello and welcome you beautiful souls. It's a rainy day here in Grand Prairie, Alberta, but I'm proud of myself. I am finally getting to record this podcast. Seems like sometimes, I don't know. We just put things off so much and our lack of confidence, my lack of confidence inside, my lack of really grabbing onto the direction I want to go seems to stop me from doing so many things.

[00:00:33] But that stops here. Okay. And it's kind of what we're talking about today. Oh. And Casey didn't know this is your favorite life coach welcoming you to another episode of Soft and Strong, Beautiful Women on a Mission. This space is our refuge, our foundation, our celebration of the extraordinary journey that we call midlife.

[00:01:03] Today we're going to continue talking about a topic, as I said, that's close to my heart, becoming. A beautiful warrior. What exactly is a beautiful warrior? Not something that we walk around talking about all the time, is it? Well, she's been the subject of our discussion for a few episodes now, and I love the term, I love the concept.

[00:01:31] A beautiful warrior is a woman. A woman just like you and me, who turns her midlife experiences into now get this powerful tools for transformation, growth and empowerment. I know that's a mouthful. She's a beacon of courage, of resilience, of strength, who navigates life's challenges with the grace of a swan.

[00:02:00] I love this phrase. I had to use it... and the wisdom of an "ancient tree", and she doesn't just weather the storm, oh no. Not storms like today where it's raining so much outside. She dances in the rain. She thrives in her journey and uses her wisdom to create her destiny and inspire everyone around her. 

[00:02:27] The beauty of a beautiful warrior is more than skin deep. Don't you just love that word, radiance? What does it bring to mind when I say that? Radiance. Its actual meaning is to emit light, to glow. A woman who is at peace with herself knows who she is and how she will handle whatever comes up in life. She is this woman who radiates.

[00:03:04] She lives out of this boundless death of compassion and gives off that radiance without even knowing it. That's because it comes from her spirit. You can't fake this. It comes from your spirit. Now, is this the woman you see when you look in the mirror? No, not me either, but it's the woman I see in my future, the one I want to become.

[00:03:42] So today, my dear ladies, we're diving into another chapter in our inspiring journey of transformation. We're going to learn how to embrace midlife as a beautiful warrior. Yes, we're going to do that by recognizing and embracing our inner strength. 

[00:04:05] So grab your favorite drink. I've got my coffee. Find a cozy spot, and let's look at three ways that you can start to own that inner strength that, yes, even you hold inside.

[00:04:22] So the first thing is to recognize the power of experience. Inner strength isn't something that just happens. It comes from a power that most of us don't ever consider. The power of experience. Look at the path you've walked from the start of your life until today. You've lived through experiences unique only to you, both good and bad.

[00:04:52] The joys and the pains, the triumphs, and the trials could fill up a treasure chest, and that's what I want you to imagine. A treasure chest overflowing with jewels, the jewels of experience, the the experiences that have shaped you into the woman you are today. 

[00:05:18] Now, the treasure chest, think of it like this, it's filled with gold coins of joy, blue sapphires of challenge, red rubies of fiery perseverance. Priceless jewels that have created rich and vibrant and a one-of-a-kind life.

[00:05:42] The power in your midlife comes from harnessing these experiences as the fire of transformation and growth. That word transformation goes with radiance. It's one of the power words of the beautiful warrior. Think back to those moments that changed your life and taught you more about yourself than you ever could have learned from a textbook or a seminar.

[00:06:10] These experiences were your classroom, not your prison, and they can continue to be the lessons that you draw on to keep growing you into a woman of wisdom and strength. Multiple purple amethysts are found in my treasure chest. This is me imagining these are the experiences that resulted in what I call my fear of not being enough. Hard knocks that felt like boulders dropping on me, flattening me for a time.

[00:06:47] How did I respond to those boulders that fell on me? To those experiences that led to me thinking that I'm not enough? I did a lot of things that I regret. I just wanted to be special, to feel special, to stand out and be told that I was wonderful, amazing, and worth fighting for. Ever felt that way, ever realized that desire deep inside you?

[00:07:19] My mom used to tell me stories about me crying at 13 months old, standing beside her bed as she nursed my newborn brother. She thought that this, because I always kind of baffled her, I've always been a little bit different in my family and puzzled my mom a lot, but she thought that maybe this is where my feelings of not being important in our family started. It made her sad to look back on that time. 

[00:07:49] I'm not so sure she was right. Maybe. All I know is that, to be recognized has been a constant thorn in my side all my life. But here's the thing. I'm working on this. I've come to appreciate the thorn because feeling its pain is what has driven me to learn to stand strong and be courageous all on my own, even in times when I may feel unloved.

[00:08:25] Feeling not good enough, in other words, has transformed me. My thought, "I'm not enough", has become, "It doesn't matter if I feel not enough, I have a purpose to live, something I was made to do and I'm going to grow toward that."

[00:08:45] I learned that God made me for a reason. It's why I am here walking on this path I call life, and that's all I need to know. Instead of looking for the approval of others, I am growing into choosing to focus on becoming everything I'm meant to be. 

[00:09:08] A thought like this sets me free, sets me free to grow even in the middle of painful times in my life. What am I meant to learn in this pain? And even more so, how can this situation train me to become more of who I want to be?

[00:09:41] This is a beautiful warrior core concept. Life isn't about what happens to you, it's about how you respond. It's about how you respond. 

[00:10:00] So here's an exercise I want you to try. Just as we are tying up this first section, spend some time reflecting on your life journey so far. Write down three experiences that have had a significant impact on you.

[00:10:16] And then what I want you to do is to identify lessons you've learned from them. As you look at these, you are going to see the strength that is forged in these moments. If you look for, if you let yourself, you are not the same woman you were before that happened, and if you let yourself see it, you'll recognize that you are stronger, you're wiser, and you're more resilient in some way because of it.

[00:10:52] Okay. The second thing here for growing that inner strength inside: embrace your courage. Embrace your courage. Own your inner strength by embracing that courage. You face storms. I know that you fought, you persevered. How did you do that? 

[00:11:20] I'll tell you, you tapped into courage even if you didn't realize it.

[00:11:26] Courage according to Miriam Webster dictionary, of course, cuz I'm such a definition person, is the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. 

[00:11:46] It's simply is this. Courage is doing something even if it scares you. It's being able to face it, being able to be in it, even if it's terrifying, being able to take action in the middle of it.

[00:12:02] Taking action, living through a hard time, is the strength inside you. It also becomes your guiding light through the journey ahead of you. 

[00:12:17] Midlife, like any other phase in life, such as the teenage years, brings its own unique challenges. It may feel overwhelming at times, but this is when you remember. You are a woman who has bravely, gracefully navigated life's twists and turns on your path.

[00:12:40] And you can do it again. 

[00:12:44] I've talked about Diana Naad in a past podcast. Amazing woman. At the age of 64 she swam from Cuba to Florida, a grueling 110 mile journey through shark infested waters. Oh my goodness! Now when she did that, it wasn't her first or her second attempt, it was her fifth. And despite the setbacks, she didn't let her age or her past failures keep her from trying again.

[00:13:26] Now, if that doesn't scream, "beautiful warrior", I don't know what does. We all have this inside of us. Even you. This inner strength, this courage. 

[00:13:42] How do you face being diagnosed with breast cancer? 

[00:13:46] How do you face life when the man you thought would love you forever is gone. 

[00:13:52] What do you do when the money dries up or the wrong government takes power or your best friend accuses you of something that isn't true?

[00:14:03] All of these scenarios and ladies, thousands more come at us as we walk this path of life. Bombs go off and devastate us boulders, as I said before, drop on us, crushing us for a time. People throw their rocks of expectation and criticism at us. How will you get through it? 

[00:14:31] In his book, "Courage is Calling", Ryan Holiday, a new author I've been reading a lot about who studies the Stoics, says it is natural to feel fear, the stoics believed, but it cannot rule you. Courage then is the ability to rise above fear, to do what's right, to do what's needed. To do what is true. 

[00:15:03] It's knowing then that there are 50% good feelings in this world, but there are also 50% bad feelings. Often the balance swings over to more than the 50% in the bad feeling department. We know this. You will never get to the place where you feel a hundred percent good in life. So the question is, how do you handle that 50% bad? It's a natural and normal occurrence in our lives. 

[00:15:36] Courage is being willing to feel those feelings, to feel what's un uncomfortable, to look what's hard in the face and to do as stoics invited us to do... what's right, what's needed, and what's true in spite of feeling afraid. 

[00:16:00] So, here's your mission, should you choose to accept it. As you are thinking about this, as you are thinking about embracing your courage, what I want you to do is to practice courage every day. When you face an intimidating situation and it creates those uncomfortable emotions, don't run.

[00:16:25] Don't turn to chocolate or numbing TV or to a glass of wine so you can avoid those uncomfortable feelings. Instead, channel your inner Diana Naad. Remember how many bombs you've survived and lived to talk about. Plunge headfirst into those shark- infested waters. Do what's right, do what's needed, and do what's true.

[00:16:59] And then you are gonna find out that suddenly the emotion in that situation is just cut in half and it's not nearly as bad as you imagined it would be. 

[00:17:15] Okay, onto our last idea about how to build, how to create that inner beauty. And this is also about beauty. The inner strength. 

[00:17:32] Radiate your beauty. So this is about building strength. And, remember we've talked about three things now. The first one is to recognize the power of experience. 

[00:17:46] The second one is to embrace your courage and now radiate your beauty. 

[00:17:55] This means that you discover that inner strength is actually the truest sense of your beauty. You, beautiful warrior, are radiant.

[00:18:10] That word again. To emit light, to glow. Your physical appearance has little to do with beauty. When you light up your spirit, you are beautiful. Your spirit lights up when you aren't , merely enduring your journey, but you're thriving within it. 

[00:18:32] Your spirit lights up when you live out a wisdom that shapes your destiny and inspires others. You take control of your life. Is there anything that lights you up more than not being afraid of what comes next or feeling that fear and knowing that you are going to take hold and you're going to walk forward? You're going to take a step. You're going to do what's right, you're going to do what's courageous, what's needed anyway. 

[00:19:07] That lights up your spirit. Your spirit lights up when you live out of that wisdom. You live, you learn you love, and in the process, you emanate a beauty that goes far beyond what the eye can see. 

[00:19:25] Your spirit lights up when you're using the gifts that you've been given. Your gifts, the gifts inside you that bring you joy, even when life is bleak and hard. They are your safe place inside. 

[00:19:40] Now, this is how you light yourself up. This is how you are going to radiate something that you don't even realize you're giving off to the people around you, to the world around you.

[00:19:55] Remember the story of Anne Frank. She was the young girl about 12 or 13, I think, who lived through the Holocaust. Anne Frank and her family were hidden away in a secret room, hiding from the Nazis. So much fear she felt so many in so many ways.

[00:20:18] She was deprived of the normal things in her life. But she survived this, as we know, from the discovery of her diary after that room had been closed up and she had been taken off to a prison camp. That diary tells the, the tale of how Anne survived those hard times by disappearing into her gifts.

[00:20:46] She had a vision of someday being a journalist, and she kept on believing in herself and in her future. Every day, she wrote in her diary, filling it with her thoughts and feelings about what was going on around her. Writing was her passion and it filled up her soul. So she turned there. 

[00:21:15] She found her joy in the middle of a difficult situation doing what she loved to do, being who she was. At her core and, eventually, without her knowing, her words have lit up the hearts of millions. 

[00:21:35] You have a radiance that is the core of who you are. When others are touched by that radiance most often without you even knowing, they feel your beauty and they're inspired. Inspired simply because you are being who you are. I find this so fascinating. As you know, if you've followed me for any length of time, I'm all about finding your mission, all about finding your purpose, finding who you are at your core. You radiance can actually be described in a simple word.

[00:22:16] Now, I want you to think this through with me right now as we conclude today. What do you love to do? And if you have a pencil and paper, I want you to take this and jot down a couple of feelings, a couple of ideas as they come to you. And then when we're done, go back and repeat this and take some time to really think about it.

[00:22:40] What do you love to do? What work do you do that doesn't seem like work?

[00:22:50] I want you to fill in these blanks. There are three of them. I'm at my best when_______ (fill in that blank.) I'm at my best when______________ (fill in the blank). 

[00:23:06] You might say... and think about it... what are you doing? You might say, when I'm connecting or when I'm designing. Like Anne Frank, when I'm writing. When I'm cooking, when I'm creating. Think of your spirit being lit up, forgetting everything else, and just disappearing into this thing.

[00:23:33] The second question is when I'm at my best, the exact thing I'm doing is __________. So how do you come to the place of connecting, designing, writing, cooking, creating? What are you doing, the exact thing that you're doing when you're doing that, such as... 

[00:23:58] You may be having a deep conversation with someone. You may be designing a new dress, you may be trying out a new recipe, you may be writing a story, you may be creating the plan for a new workshop. What are you doing? 

[00:24:16] And this is your third question. So we had:

[00:24:20] I'm at my best when ___________, 

[00:24:23] When I'm at my best, the exact thing I'm doing is ___________. 

[00:24:28] And the last thing is, when I'm doing this, the thing I love most about it is _____________. When I'm doing this, the thing I love most about it is _____________. 

[00:24:43] You might say, I feel as if I'm helping someone understand themselves, or I'm creating something new or. I'm creating, I'm bringing joy to people who love to eat (yeah, that's a good one, right?) Or I'm connecting the dots and organizing something. Yes, there are people that love to do that kind of thing. People who enjoy organization out of chaos.

[00:25:18] Now try to find a word that sums up or encapsulates what you are doing into one simple phrase, such as when I'm doing what I love to do and when I'm doing that exact thing, and when I think about what I love most about doing it, I inspire, or I create or I feed the hungry, or I bring order from chaos.

[00:25:56] It's kind of summing up what you're doing and what you love about what you're doing in that moment. This becomes how you light up your spirit and how you light up the world, and that can be through writing or painting or sewing or teaching, caring for the elderly, or filling a need in a business or building welcoming people into your home.

[00:26:28] This is you in your uniqueness. This is you braving the unexpected in this world by using your gift to inspire you. This is something that is all yours, and no one can take this away from you. It's your radiance. This is you being the beautiful warrior. 

[00:26:58] Now, here's a bonus action step. Start every day with a warrior affirmation in front of the mirror, and as you look directly at yourself in the eye, you say, "I am a beautiful warrior", and you just let that sit with you.

[00:27:20] Now you might find that your morning face staring back at you is, , a little surprised, a little disbelieving, at first, but as you say that every day, as you lean into becoming a beautiful warrior, someone who fights for herself, someone who stands strong, someone who radiates her beauty, someone who grows that inner strength, you are going to feel those words resonating inside of you. 

[00:27:54] And you are going to be able to let this affirmation guide your actions throughout every day, throughout today, and every day you will take some time to enjoy. What it is you love to do because that's who you are. 

[00:28:17] Always take a few moments to light up that spirit inside you. And as you're taking that time, you tell yourself, I am a beautiful warrior, and you add, this is what I'm meant to bring to the world.

[00:28:42] We're talking here and we're going to keep on talking about the way of the beautiful warrior. I love looking at life through her eyes, exploring all the ways that I can show up in courage and strength, inner strength, no matter what life throws at me. The way of the beautiful warrior is this, as we've said.

[00:29:09] Recognize the power of experience. 

[00:29:12] Embrace your courage, 

[00:29:14] Radiate your spirit's beauty. 

[00:29:17] You, my friend, are not just strong. You are a spectacular firework of strength, wisdom and beauty. It's not about the wrinkles on our skin, but about the glow from our hearts. Midlife can be a time, yes. Of upheaval and doubt and pain.

[00:29:41] The changes in our bodies, shifts in our roles and challenges in our relationships can feel daunting, like waves crashing against us. But remember, you don't just survive these waves. You ride them, you jump in like Diana Nyad, even if they hold the threat of sharks, you never give up. You keep coming back to the way of the beautiful warrior.

[00:30:10] You harness the energy of the waves and you use them to propel you further into resilience, transformation, inspiration, and inner beauty.

[00:30:23] Okay, until next time, my ladies, remember, you are powerful. You are brave. You are beautiful. You. Are a beautiful warrior.