The Power of Heart: Why Following Your Passion Can Transform Your Midlife

WHAT IF Midlife were actually a Call To Adventure?

The only way you hear that Call is to connect to that very quiet place deep inside of you. That's where you'll find your heart.

This is a powerful place. A place from which you can learn to be yourself...shut out the noise of what everyone else thinks you should be, tells you to be.

The Call challenges us to look deeper into how life has been molding us, preparing us for this time just ahead. A new phase. Midlife.

Find the answers to that calling and everything else will fall into place. 

Purpose becomes the reason for our lives and the foundation we can use to make all our decisions and choices for the rest of our lives.

You have so much to offer, and the world needs what you have to give.

It's never too late to find a new purpose. A new reason for living.

Let's look at how that can be done. Come on in or download the transcript.

Download here:  FREE e-Book:  How To Find Your Passionately Personal Midlife Mission

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Transcript

(00:01):

Hello, my beautiful warriors. It is so great to be back with you today. Did you see that title? This is what I do. "The Power of Heart: Why Following Your Passion Can Transform Your Midlife". I believe what we're going to talk about today with all of my passion, with all of my heart, because it has helped me so much in my journey in becoming who I am today and who I want to be in the future.

(00:42):

So anyhow, today we are going to talk about you and your need to be needed. It's something we have in common with every single person on this planet. The need to be needed is built in as one of our basic heart needs. You need to have purpose. To feel as if you are somehow making a difference in the world. When midlife hits and we're standing with all those closed doors behind us, that's when we're faced with these feelings the most.

(01:23):

Who am I? Who needs me now? Yes, some of us feel this more than others, but I don't believe there's anyone who doesn't go through this one way or another. Kids are gone. Your career hits a plateau. Your hobby is going through his own identity crisis. Maybe you don't have a hobby. Your friends have drifted on or are dealing with their own life drama.

(01:54):

Now, here my Beautiful Warriors is when you must make an incredibly important decision. That decision is this: "Do I sit down in the middle of my path and just prepare to die? Because that's essentially what many women do. Or do I choose to grow, to morph, into someone new and adventurous and even, dare I say, exciting? Now at first thought, shifting along with a time seems hugely difficult. I get that almost annoying because we're pretty comfy being where we are. We don't like change. The older we get, the less we like change, but let's boil it down. It's really about coming into our own, creating our own avenues of contribution and purpose.

(03:03):

We have to find new ways to be needed, new ways to make a difference. I believe that this is one of the most important things that we can do for ourselves in midlife. Why? Because when we feel needed, when we feel like we are making a difference, we feel alive.

(03:31):

Finding a sense of purpose is finding that feeling you get when someone tells you what an in incredible job you did on something. It's that feeling of awe and deep gratefulness. You feel when you stayed up all night doing everything you knew to do to help your sick child and you finally saw his fever break. It's that sense of immense joy, knowing that you took a huge mess and cleaned it all up. I used to love walking back, still do actually, over and over again into a chaotic room that I had cleaned up and organized just to admire it. These are such simple, regular, everyday life things, but every one of these gives us that sense of purpose.

(04:27):

Feeling unneeded, on the other hand, feels as if there's no more reason to clean up messes at home, at work, or wherever you used to. No one will care or see it or be affected by it. It's a lonely, isolated place to live. And a dangerous place. This is where the decision comes in. Give up my life and wait to get old or stop and look inside. For that person who is my Beautiful Warrior, determined to fight until the end and go for a new adventure. I hope you choose that second one.

(05:16):

Life changes, but so can we. Let me tell you about a woman I know named Maria. When her kids grew up and moved out of the house, Maria started to feel like she had lost her sense of purpose. Can you relate? For a while, she tried to fill the void by volunteering at her local church and community center, but while she enjoyed helping others, she still felt like there was something missing.

(05:48):

One day, Maria decided to take a class in interior design. She had always loved decorating her own home and she thought it might be fun to learn more about this field. To her surprise, she felt in love with it. Maria started taking more classes and eventually decided to start her own interior design business. Yay Maria! Ah, Maria. Sorry. Her name's Maria. It was challenging at first, but she loved being able to use her creativity and help people make their homes beautiful and functional. As her business grew, Maria found that she had a renewed sense of purpose.

(06:34):

She was making a difference in people's lives by creating spaces that they loved and enjoyed spending time in, and, as she became more successful, she felt like she was also contributing to her community in a meaningful way. Looking back on her journey, Maria realizes that finding her purpose wasn't easy.

(07:01):

It took a lot of soul searching and trying new things before she found something that truly resonated with her. But now that she has found it, she feels more alive than ever before. In midlife. Isn't that awesome? Now, remember the five components we've been talking about that Robert Reacher used to create curriculum for elementary school children to feel more at home in the classroom. They are, I'll just repeat the five here. One, I need to feel secure. I need to know I'm safe. These are needs that we all have. Heart needs. Two, I need an identity. I need to know who I am. Three, I need to belong. I need to know others accept me. Four, I need purpose. I need to know what I want to achieve, and five, I need to feel competent. I need to know I am capable.

(08:04):

We're talking about the fourth today. I need purpose. I need to know what I want to achieve. You've probably already figured that out, and I need to know that I can achieve. This is about finding a new role. Maria is a great example of that fourth component of self-esteem called 'role significance'. According to Robert Reacher's research role, significance refers to the belief that we are making a meaningful contribution to society through our roles and activities. Doesn't this just sound totally opposite from shrinking away? Doesn't it sound totally opposite to how some of the elderly people in your life that you look at, that's what they've done.

(08:56):

They've withdrawn from society and they're shrinking away. They're not contributing anymore. By taking classes in interior design, the light bulb came on for Maria. She had skills that she didn't realize could be useful and a passion that worked itself into her starting her own business. How exciting is that? Maria was able to find a new role that gave her a renewed sense of purpose. She was now making a meaningful contribution to the world in a brand new way.

(09:34):

Result? She felt needed. Again, she had carved out her own place using gifts she loved, so her sense of significance went sky high. So did her confidence and her connection to others. For many of us, we make the losses we experience in midlife mean that nobody needs us any longer. That we've done our time, and when we stop to ask if we have anything worth giving, there are two many women who don't look deeply enough.

(10:15):

Yes, the journey to finding our purpose can be challenging. It can take a bit. It requires us to ask some tough questions like what are, what are my values? Who do I what? What do I care about? What kind of legacy do I want to leave behind? These are not easy questions to answer, but they are so important. They're essential. If we want to understand the calling that we have inside of us. That's the 'Midlife Call To Adventure'. I love that term, 'Midlife Call To Adventure'.

(11:00):

It sounds so much better than going through menopause or getting fat or losing who we are. It's the call to something new. The call challenges us to look deeper into how life has been molding us, preparing us for the time, just ahead a new phase. Find the answers to that calling and everything else will fall into place. Purpose becomes the reason for our lives and the foundation that we can use to make all of our decisions and choices for the rest of our lives. You have so much to offer and the world needs what you have to give.

(11:53):

It's never too late to find a new purpose, a new reason for living. So let's look at how that can be done. First, think about what you're passionate about. What gets you excited? What makes you feel alive? Lights you up. Sometimes we get so caught up in our day-to-day lives that we forget about the things that really bring us joy, that really matter to us, the things that we can get lost when we're doing them.

(12:33):

Second, ask yourself those tough questions. What are your values? I want you to make a list of the top five. What do you care about? What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind? How do you want your kids to remember you? Challenge yourself with these questions. It's not difficult if you go, - now, this is important - If you go to that quiet place inside, that's just about you. That's where you're going to hear your heart. To hear your heart is to hear what you really want, not what someone else wants for you or thinks you should do or be. It's what you want. What do you want to do with your life? What could you do with your life?

(13:42):

Okay, third, this leads you to try new things. Take classes, join clubs, or attend events related to your interests. You never know where those experiences might lead. Remember what Maria discovered? So let me tell you about another woman named Sarah. Sarah had always been a high achiever and had worked hard to build a really successful career in finances. She was well respected and had achieved many of the goals that she had set for herself. But as she approached her mid forties, Sarah started to feel that haunted feeling, like something was missing.

(14:34):

She wasn't sure what all her achievements had added up to. She started to question whether her work was truly meaningful and if she was really making a positive impact on the world. At first, Sarah tried to ignore those feelings and just keep pushing forward in her career, but the more she tried to ignore them, the more they persisted.

(14:58):

Eventually she realized that she needed to make a change. Sarah asked herself how she could use the skills and expertise that she had and enjoyed in a more meaningful way. What she discovered was a need for volunteers at a local nonprofit organization that helped low income families with financial planning. I think this is so beautiful. She also started mentoring young women who were just starting their careers in finance.

(15:37):

Through these experiences, Sarah discovered a new sense of purpose. While she still enjoyed her career in finance, she found that it was even more rewarding when she was able to use it to make a positive impact in her world. Looking back on her journey, Sarah realized that finding a sense of purpose was about more than just achieving in her career.

(16:07):

It was about using that success to make a difference in the world and contribute to something bigger than herself, and by doing so, she found a renewed sense of fulfillment and meaning in her life. Sarah's story perfectly illustrates the importance, again, of that fourth component of self-esteem. The role significance highlighted by Robert Re Reacher's research achieving great success was not giving her life that meaningful feeling that she was looking for.

(16:48):

What brought her meaning was using who she was, what she had to offer, somewhere that it was needed. She was making a big difference. One family, one person at a time. Imagine how she would feel years later knowing that she had worked to change the world in her own way. Isn't that amazing? If each of us did that, imagine how the world would be.

(17:28):

Fourth, don't be afraid to ask for help. Talk to friends, family members, or even a coach. Hey, there's one right here...about who you are and where you'd like to go in order to feel better about your life. Don't stay stuck in the "I don't know". I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am. I don't know where to start. If you are struggling with thoughts that tell you you can't do this or don't know how to do this, please reach out to me. I can help you do that. Deep dive into your heart and find the bridge from what you can give to where you could possibly use it to make a difference. It will make such an incredible difference in your life.

(18:17):

Finally, remember that finding your purpose is a deep personal journey. It may take time and effort, but it is worth it. If you, as you pass through this whole phase of midlife, you're going to feel the fear talking. I just want to warn you about that. Your brain knows risk when it sees it, and it's going to want you to stay where it's safe.

(18:46):

That's its job, right? But to listen to your head, your brain, and do what it says, you'll end up in a place of apathy and boredom. I know this for sure. I've seen it happen over and over again. A place where you waste the gifts that you've spent so much time growing. You need to ask yourself if that's what you want. So how do you know that you're in your head and not operating from your heart?

(19:19):

If you have thoughts coming up like these, it's your brain talking, "Hey, you're a woman, and that's not what women do. You sacrifice yourself for your family and to please everyone around you. Don't be selfish by going after what makes you happy." This is a statement that's just trying to protect you from having to face or to do or to think up hard things to go on.

(19:44):

Secondly, "You don't have anything to offer. No one is going to want what you have. It's just ordinary and plain. You're way too old to be putting yourself out there. The world belongs to the young." Please don't listen to this. Please don't follow your brain's thinking in this way. It's just written in fear.

(20:10):

And the last example I have of what might go on in your brain or the thoughts that say, "What are you thinking? You're already exhausted from the schedule you keep. How can you take anything more on? Just leave things as they are. Get to retirement and then you can rest." Ladies, this is such a danger zone to coast, to not make the effort to actually start to find the things that make you feel alive and love your life. Don't listen To your brain. It believes you're in danger just as it would if you were about to walk off a cliff. It doesn't know any better because how you feel contains fear, which causes your brain to go into protection mode.

(21:03):

It will try to keep your blood pressure low and your heart rate down and just keep you safe. But the decision for how you live your life is, good news, up to you. Not that voice inside that's afraid of you stepping outside your comfort zone and doing something challenging. So, so here's what you do. Here's what you say back to your brain.

(21:31):

You thank that voice of protection for believing. It's saving you from a painful experience. It's actually your friend. It does keep you from danger. Tell it you appreciate its concern, but you are not in real danger here. Tell it to go over there in the corner and eat a cookie while you get on with the things you need to do to grow, to feel alive.

(21:59):

Fight for yourself. Beautiful warrior. Don't just lay down and let your life fizzle out. Once you find your purpose, everything else falls into place. Purpose becomes the reason for your life, the foundation you can use to make all your decisions and choices for the rest of your life. Living with purpose gives you new confidence. It creates a more resilient 'you' who can face the challenges and setbacks with a renewed sense of calm, courage and decisiveness. You will make decisions so much more easily and best of all to live with.

(22:48):

Purpose is to laser focus on your way to give. It touches the world in your way. It changes the world even if it's just in your one small corner. So challenge yourself. Are you tired of feeling like something is missing in your life? Do you long for a sense of purpose and meaning? Those thoughts, those feelings are a message, a Call to Adventure. It's time to take action. Don't wait any longer to find that purpose that lights you up. If you're wondering where to start, start by downloading my free ebook. "Discover Your Passionately Personal Midlife Mission. I just updated it to make it a little bit more, uh, easy for you to do that.

(23:45):

The link is in the show notes. Yours absolutely free, and this is an amazing stride for me in my business. You can now apply to join our first Midlife Women on a Mission Mastermind group, where I'll help you not only discover your purpose, but also find the life you wanna build around it. I want to connect with you. I want to help you to find that purpose, to live your life in the deepest fullest way possible. The benefits are waiting for you, my beautiful warrior. The world needs what only you can give. Okay. That's it for today, and I will see you in the next podcast.