Brave Enough To Master My Emotions

You laugh. You cry. You shout. You encourage. You love. You hate.

You are a woman and you feel. That's natural. And beautiful!

Mastering your emotions means you start to understand them. Is that even possible?

THE KEY to Aging Beautifully is to master these things we call "emotions".

Yes - it's all part discovering how to love yourself. And everything about who you are.

In this episode, we talk about:

1. Your 'Emotional Home' and why you live there.

2.  How to step back and see what your emotions are really telling you.

3. The #1 Key to living in a place of adventure, freedom and love (forever).

Links mentioned in this Episode:
Our star example who stepped out of her comfort zone and shows us how to leap into a life you love: Rebecca Crespo @ Minimalism Made Easy

How to Create your own Personal Aging Beautifully Vision

Download here:  FREE e-Book:  How To Find Your Passionately Personal Midlife Mission

____________________________________________________
Are you in the struggle of navigating midlife with grace and power? I hear ya!

How about a daily injection of "Beautiful Warrior wisdom" injected into your day?

"The Way of the Beautiful Warrior." Our brief daily emails provide insights and inspiration, turning the challenge of midlife into an empowering adventure.

Click this link and embrace your journey as a Beautiful Warrior today.

Transcript

Transcript: Brave Enough to Master My Emotions

(00:02):

Welcome back, my lovely ladies. It's so great to have you here talking about Aging Beautifully. Now part of Aging Beautifully is attaching that word 'beautifully' to aging because when we think of that word 'aging' what kind of emotions come up for you? With many of us, there are emotions that are not really positive, right? We think of the saggy baggies. We think of having to get fat. We think of losing control of our own lives because other people take control - all kinds of things - emotions that are associated with that word 'aging'. But when we attach that word 'beautifully' to it, it can change everything. Everything. We are at a place in our lives, as we are looking ahead to that time when we're going to be aging, we're in a wonderful place because we can make those decisions.

(01:08):

Just like Rebecca in the last episode where we talked about her being in the corporate world where she was trapped, felt as if she was in a box, a box that was closing in on her and she had to make that decision to break out of that box. She sold everything she had -I don't know if she sold it - but she got rid of it and ended up with a suitcase that was one she could carry around so it couldn't have been very big or heavy. And that was all she had. What that led her to was a business, creating an influence in the world about living as a minimalist. Her business is "Minimalism Made Simple" and you can find it online and listen to her podcast. She will teach you everything there is to know about living a simple life. That was born because Rebecca felt as if she was being squished.

(02:11):

She didn't like her life the way it was. She wanted to go to that place where she broke out into a place that she wanted to be. She chose the life that she wanted to live. And with that, can you imagine the emotions that she would've felt? Freedom. Independence. Happiness. Joy. All of those things that went along now with her making that decision about who she wanted to be. WHO she wanted to be which is the very key for Aging Beautifully, for becoming somebody that you are. The person that you are as you move forward in the decades to come.

(03:04):

That starts in your fifties. You make that decision - actually starts before that - to decide this is the way my life is going to go. Do you have a picture of that? Because what is going to really drive you forward to believe in that picture, that Aging Beautifully vision, which is what I work with women to create - if you are going to build that vision, you will need to tie it to strong emotions.

(03:37):

Which is why I want to talk to you about your 'emotional home'. We all have it. It could be negative or positive, but you know, home, the very definition of home,is a place where you live a place where you feel safe, where you are yourself, where you just let it all hang out. The real you, that's kind of the definition of home, right? At least it is for me. I'm sure that you tie those kinds of feelings to being at home as well. Feelings, feelings, feelings.

(04:12):

Feelings make up our world. And as women, we are very emotional creatures. Sometimes we wish that we could live more in the positive emotions and the negative emotions would just disappear somewhere, right? But I want to tell you, you can come to a place where you love your emotions. Because when you tie your vision to these strong and positive emotions, you will begin to do anything to get there.

(04:45):

And that's what we need to do for you. We need to make it such a strong compulsion to be the person that you want to be as you age, that you do that. And you tell your brain to do that consciously or subconsciously. To look for ways for you to open the doors. Again, Rebecca - that's what happened with her. Her emotions got to the place where, I would think, she was so low she had to make a choice. She had to change.

(05:16):

And so she broke out of that and did some very drastic things like packing her whole life into a suitcase. And then, opportunity opened up for her. And she began to see, step by step, how she could live the life that she wanted to live. So emotions. Your 'emotional home'. It can either be a negative place or a positive place.

(05:47):

Many of us live in a place of anger, depression, fear. Those are the emotions that we mainly feel during the day. Or we always come back to. Now, remember the secret to Aging Beautifully is that you can bring yourself back to a beautiful state, to a Sweet State in an instant. In the snap of a finger. That you can bring yourself back from when you fall into anger or when you fall into depression. You are there for like 90 seconds and then you can remember who you are, the strength in you and bring yourself back to the place where you feel so good about yourself. And I think that that's more, the key is that the feelings that you feel about yourself then dictate the feelings that you put out there in the world.

(06:52):

And you are constantly saying, "I like that feeling. I don't like that feeling." "I want that feeling. I don't want this feeling." And you can assess what will bring you back. What kind of emotions do you live in every day? Just stop and think about it for a second. What are your key emotions? What do you always seem to come back to when it's really quiet, when you're by yourself or after you've been in an incident? What kind of feelings do you come back to? That's gonna tell you about yourself.

(07:30):

Are they negative feelings like anger and depression, which we call the crazy eight? People who fall into that cycle, usually between them, because anger at least gives you something strong to hang onto. You can feel as if you're doing something by shouting or expressing your anger or feeling it. Depression is such a low emotion where you feel almost as if you're powerless. As if you're, you know, you're lying in bed. That's the kind of feeling depression brings you. So are those the feelings that you swing between?

(08:09):

Or do you find yourself tending to go to a place of optimism and hope, love and belief, goodness, and in the fact that things will turn out? Can I just mention here the term 'suffering' because many times in our lives, we end up in a place of suffering. And that's what we call it. Suffering really is thinking that you're stuck in your life and you have no options. That is the true definition of suffering. "I am a victim in my life and I don't have any options. I'm gonna end up staying here forever. I don't have enough strength. I don't have enough intelligence. I don't have the right resources to get me out of this place".

(09:08):

That is true suffering. I don't want that for you. And I hope you don't want that for you, either, as the people that end up in the greatest unhappiness, who sink into a place of no purpose, they are suffering. They think that they have no other options. We always have options. And I want you to believe in those options.

(09:32):

So here's the scoop. Emotions - how you feel - are really like balloons. Balloons that are tied to a chair. Think of the long string from the balloon that's floating up there and those are your emotions. Anger, depression, frustration they could be. Or joy or love or excitement. Whatever the emotions are, they are tied to this chair and sitting in this chair is you. And your beliefs. What you believe is in the chair and that results in your emotions. So if you are suffering and you believe you have no options and you are absolutely trapped, think of Rebecca again, in her corporate world, stuck in the box... then you are believing that you have no way out. And so your emotions are going to be determined by what you believe.

(10:26):

Now, Rebecca, think of her after she broke out of that cycle. She probably felt ecstatic - so free. So amazing. So, filled with self-respect, with the endless possibilities. The emotions that are tied to that make us jump out of bed in the morning, right? In her chair, her beliefs were, "I could do anything. I can decide how I run my life." Remember, you're a heart walking on a path. Life is simple. It's how you see yourself and how you see others.

(11:09):

If you see yourself as somebody who's stuck and unable to go forward, that's who you're going to be. If you see others as controlling you and as people that you need to please, then that's how you're going to live your life. So here's the solution. First of all, you need to stop the story that you're telling yourself. What is in the chair? Change that story. Stop believing what you're believing. How do you do that?

(11:45):

That is something that is tied to you making decisions about who you're going to be. To say, "I'm not believing that story anymore. I'm not taking any more crumbs. I am not going to waste my life in this place of thinking I'm trapped. I am going to take control and I'm going to figure out what it is I want in life and I'm going to go for it." That's stopping the story.

(12:14):

Secondly, what you need to do is to change the story. So you change the story to that one that you are now going to believe: "I can do anything I put my mind to. I want to be a Flight Attendant. Think of my unsung hero, who did that. She was 72. And she also came out of her corporate bank world where she held a CEO position or something like that.

(12:50):

And she decided she wanted to be a Flight Attendant. And she went for it. That's changing her story. "I am defined as an executive. Whoa, wait a minute. No, I can do anything I want. I am going to be a Flight Attendant." What would be your story? If you could change your story about who you are and who you want to be, how would you change it? So, first of all, you're gonna stop that old story. Secondly, you are going to change that story into one that you are going to grab onto - into one that you're going to believe from now on because, remember, 80% of getting to where you want to go is what you tell your mind, what is in your heart and what you tell your mind. That's 80%. the doing it is the 20%. That's the mechanics of it.

(13:48):

That's the 'how' you get there. That's only 20% of the action it takes. So you stop your story and you change your story. And then the third thing is you figure out the steps for how you're going to do that. And you begin by putting one foot in front of the other.

(14:11):

We're talking a lot about the number one and the number two here about stopping the story you tell yourself and changing that story because Aging Beautifully is having that sense of adventure. Aging Beautifully is knowing that everything that you have done and been in your past life counts for something. Aging Beautifully is about having purpose. It's about growing into the S.O.F.T. you. What is the S.O.F.T. you?

(14:45):

It's the woman that S is Strong on the Inside. It's the woman that O, is Open to the magic in life, to every possibility. It's the F in soft, which is the woman who is Fearlessly Loving, who gives everything just to feel that sense of love and contribution.

(15:08):

And the T in S.O.F.T. is being True to herself. She's the woman - it's being the woman who is absolutely true to herself. And that means knowing who you are. That's what we're gonna talk about in the next four podcasts about that. About being Strong, about being Open to possibility and to magic, about Fearlessly Loving - choosing to be loving rather than fearful. And T, knowing yourself and being true to yourself.

(15:43):

Okay, thanks so much for joining me. Remember, think about that emotional home. And one: Stop the story. The balloons are tied to the chair. Stop the story that you're telling yourself to change the story that you're telling yourself. And three, then let your brain start to show you how you are going to live in that new story. Alright, I'll talk to you in the next podcast. Bye for now.

______________________________________
Download: 5 Reasons You Feel Your Dreams Disappearing After 50 (and what to do about it).

I'm Bernice McDonald and I'm a Mindset Coach. I help women beyond 50 who are seeing their dreams disappearing off into the distance as they age and feeling the fear of inevitably becoming invisible.  Together we identify your vision, break through the wall of fear and past stories  to develop a plan that will shift your eyes to a much more exciting focus  other than "getting old". 

You will be ecstatic as you see yourself stepping into your purpose, finding the courage to make those bold decisions and, best of all, falling in love with this next phase. Embracing the rest of  life instead of sitting it out.  Meet with me to set up your Personal Aging Beautifully Vision