Brave Enough To Say It Boldly - With Confidence: "I Am..." Artwork

S.O.F.T. and Strong: Midlife Women On A Mission

Midlife. The in-between years when you're no longer young but you're not old yet either. It's that time in your story when you're crying all the way home from leaving your kid at college. Or crumpling up your high school reunion invite because life has not turned out at all in the way you said it would. You're waking up in the middle of the night wracked with financial worry. You're going through a divorce or grieving your spouse or wondering who that man is across the table as you haven't really connected for years. It's exhausted caregiving and a waistline you don't recognize. It's staring out the window blankly and asking "NOW WHAT?" Hey - this is a transition when life doesn't give us the choice about whether we go through it or not. But...there are choices that are in our control. Life doesn't stop here. YOU are meant for so much more. And that's what this podcast is about. Instead of being known as a woman who is "menopausal", WHAT IF you could be seen as a beautiful Woman on a Mission? Someone who is taking all life by storm? Who doesn't back down? Who never gives up? Someone who knows what she wants and isn't settling for less. People know you as confident, intelligent, sensitive and intuitive. You get things done. You can be trusted to follow through. You're a woman with a vision. The antidote for sinking into all the inevitable midlife mindsets our culture trains us to believe is PURPOSE. I'm Bernice McDonald, Midlife Coach, and I'm here to guide you as you get your feet back on solid ground. Life shifts. Like winter to spring. So shift with it! Leave your past missions behind as they're done. Open up your heart and your mind to what's next. Your Next Great Mission. We all have one. And you do, too. Let's answer the Midlife Call. Find our next great mission. Live with purpose. Please come and join us!

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S.O.F.T. and Strong: Midlife Women On A Mission

Brave Enough To Say It Boldly - With Confidence: "I Am..."

February 15, 2022 • Bernice McDonald • Season 2 • Episode 4

Two of the most important words you will ever say in your life is, "I am...".

The most important sentences you will ever speak in your life start with those words. "I am...".

You're so many things. And the most important thing, the strongest thing that you need to build up in your life is your IDENTITY.

"I am" identifies who you are. Once you know that, THEN you can stand up for yourself. Feel safe with yourself. Know that you've got this. Anything that comes along.

Even aging.

How do you do this? Become certain about WHO YOU ARE and lock that in.

That's what we're talking about in these 15 minutes. Come on in and start to believe in yourself!

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Download here: FREE e-Book: How To Find Your Passionately Personal Midlife Mission

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Brave Enough To Say It Boldly...Out Loud. "I Am_____."

(00:02):

I want you to repeat after me. I am incredible. I am amazing. I am gifted. Okay. I know I filled in the end of those sentences. If you had a hard time repeat those things after me and all these stories came up every time you tried to get those words out of your mouth, fair enough.

(00:33):

Two of the most important words you will ever say in your life is, "I am". The most important sentences you will ever speak in your life start with those words. "I Am". You're so many things. And the most important thing, the strongest thing that you need to build up in your life is your IDENTITY. That's what those words, "I am" identify who you are.

(01:10):

So far in Season 2 of S.O.F.T. & Strong, we have talked a lot about this, about who you are, your identity. We have defined the different sides of you - those things being things like you as a business owner, you as a career person, whatever role you play within your career - a doctor, a lawyer, a waitress, a server - whoever you are. That's one side of you.

(01:46):

You as a mom, you as a wife, you as a single woman. You as a daughter. All of those roles you play in your life. Those are all sides of you. Those are all very important pieces of who you are. And we talked about, a couple of episodes ago, how you see yourself and how you want to see yourself in each of those roles. That's where the words "I am..." are going to come from.

(02:21):

Last episode we talked about you standing on a bridge. You creating this beautiful bridge in your mind. Yours, that is yours alone. It's in a park, it's in a garden or somewhere that's really important to you. Maybe it's a high level bridge, a swinging bridge, high above a mountain gorge. And you're surrounded by the magnificence of high snowy mountains. I don't know what your bridge looks like. All I want you to do is imagine that right now at this moment, you are at the beginning of a bridge.

(03:01):

And at the end of that bridge is this ideal picture of who you want to be. The woman that is your picture in your mind of the best you. The person that you want be. The last episode helped us to meet her. You saw her and you described her. How she holds herself. How she talks, the language she uses. What she believes, what she focuses on. Those are all the things that you want to know about this ideal person that you want to become. And she's there. She's living inside you right now.

(03:55):

You just need to release her and let her out. If you are going to age beautifully, this is where you need to focus - on becoming the best you that you possibly could ever be in this lifetime. She is the diamond in you. Did you know that a diamond is created deep in the earth, surrounded by it's actually it starts out as a piece of ugly graphite. The pressure of the rocks around it and the intense heat down deep in the earth actually push on that piece of graphite. And that graphite decides if it will become graphite, remain graphite, or if it will become a diamond.

(04:48):

This woman, this picture you have is the diamond in you. She is the gold that is refined in the fire. Same as the diamond, when you take gold and put it into intense heat so that it actually liquifies, all of the impurities called the dross, come to the surface. And that gold becomes the most magnificent, valuable thing that we have on this earth.

(05:23):

You are the gold and the woman that is on the other side of this bridge is the gold. That is you - aging beautifully. So the question is, who do you want to be? This is you leaving a legacy for those who follow, because, let me tell you, who you are always outweighs the advice that you give - the mom advice, the wife advice, the boss advice. People do not hear what you say as much as they watch who you are.

(06:05):

And you know that's true because you feel it deep inside. You know who you want to be deep inside. So this is your opportunity to imagine her. This is such a much better way to age - to focus here, instead of on stories like, "Ugh, I'm getting so old". Or "I feel like I'm disappearing. Like I don't even matter anymore', or "Nobody needs me". Aren't those, the common stories that start to seep in as we see our birthdays ticking off, getting through the decades. It doesn't matter where you're at in that process after 50. You feel yourself aging. You know that you're getting closer to where you are going to have to make some really serious decisions about who you're going to be as an older woman.

(07:10):

So the key is to be sure your mind is in the right place. Visualize. Imagine who she is. Meet her. Understand how she holds herself, how she talks, what she believes in and make it your aim to become her. Now, this works one of my favorite stories of how this works is the story that Tony Robbins always tells about Roger Banister. It's been almost 68 years since Roger banister ran the four-minute mile. They thought at that time, it couldn't be done. They thought that human beings could not ever run that fast but Roger banister was not giving up.

(07:59):

How did he do it? He pictured himself doing it before he did it. He pictured himself doing it in his head over and over and over. He saw it like a movie he was creating. He saw himself doing it, and that created a response in his brain. It gave his brain something to do, to create a way for him to get there. And he did it. And then after that, dozens of people started running the four-minute mile because he showed them it could be done.

(08:39):

I've seen this happen in my own life over and over again. There is scientific proof. When we visualize, when we see ourselves doing something or being something before we actually are, it enables, it energizes the motor cortex in our brains to begin to stimulate our muscles, to actually get us moving. And maybe we don't do it right at that point, but we will do it. And how much and how long it takes us, depends on how intense we visualize, how much we imagine that we are doing it because our brains will respond to where we tell them to go.

(09:32):

This has worked for me. It has kept me working out. It's helped me to have hard conversations. It actually helped me to create and stay in a love that is amazing. The love that I want. And I'm going to show you as we go along how this works and how you can do it too.

(09:58):

It worked also for Evelyn Gregory. One of my most unsung heroes. She's unsung because she's really not very famous but she's famous to me. She was a Bank Executive most of her life. When she retired, though, she actually trained and pursued a position as a Flight Attendant, of all things. Now I know that Evelyn Gregory was focusing and seeing herself as a Flight ?Attendant. She saw herself becoming that person. And that's what signaled her brain to a look for the opportunities for her to do that. And she did it! At 72, she became a flight attendant and did that for many years after. Again, this is the path we're pursuing.

(10:59):

That's why the Bible says, "Ask. And it will be given to you. Seek. And you will find. Knock. And the door will be opened to you. Because you have to know what it is. You're asking. You have to knock with intention. You need to seek with the idea in mind of what you're seeking. And when you do that, the path will open. The door will open. Life is so simple. When you realize that it's really just about how you see yourself. Are you able to do these things? Are you capable? Can you say, "I am...intelligent". Can you say, "I'm smart enough to do that"? Can you say "I CAN do that. I am able." is that the way you define yourself?

(11:53):

Life is simple. It's about how you see yourself and how you see yourself showing up for others. That's all. You are a heart. You entered this path of life when you were born. You will exit it when you die. In between all this stuff happens. Yes, Bombs go off. Boulders fall on you, flattening you. People throw rocks at you trying to control you. Trying to hurt you. Yes. Those things are not happening TO you. Think about this. They are happening FOR you to create in you the BEST person that you can be. To grow character because that's the bottom line. That's what it all comes down to. Your identity. Who you are as a human being.

(12:50):

Who are you going to be at the end of your life? Who will you be five years from now? Who will you be 10 years from now? Let's go back to the bridge. Imagine yourself on your bridge. For now, we are just going to walk across it, remembering that every step is a step that you take to lead you forward to that vision of who you want to be. That amazing woman on the other side.

(13:22):

Think like Transformers or Superhero movies we see, you know, they're just the plain, ordinary people or things or whatever. And, all of a sudden they're called to a mission and they transform into this incredible being that can do anything. Think of that happening as you walk across your bridge and take those steps. You are transforming. You are becoming that person more and more and more. And at the end is who you want to be.

(13:56):

It's your Sweet Life filled with the sweetest of emotions and the greatest strength that you could possibly imagine. It's a walk well done. It's you being so proud of who you are. Living from the heart. So I want you to attach yourself to that person because that is what is going to help you run that four-minute mile. You are going to become what you think may be impossible right now.

(14:29):

This is how you age, beautifully focus there. Feel how it feels to be that person. Read your list of who she is every day. And if you haven't written down, jotted down the qualities of the person that you know you can be and you want to become, then do that now. And then read it every day. Every morning. When you open your eyes, remind yourself of who you want to become and your brain will take you there.

(15:07):

See her. 1. How does she hold herself? 2. What kind of words does she use? What kind of language does she use? How does she talk? 3. What does she believe? What are her values? What does she focus on every day? How does she bring herself back to her Sweet Spots, to those places where she feels so good about herself?

(15:35):

Okay. We are going to continue this in the next podcast. Please come back because I am enjoying this so much, and I hope that you are getting lots from this, too. I want to see you age in the sweetest way possible. I want to see you feel so good about yourself at the end of your life. And so glad that you went to the work of becoming the best you that you could possibly be. Alright. I will talk to you in the next podcast.

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I'm Bernice McDonald and I'm a Mindset Coach. I help women beyond 50 who are seeing their dreams disappearing off into the distance as they age and feeling the fear of inevitably becoming invisible.

Together we identify their vision, break through the wall of fear and past stories to develop a plan that shifts their eyes to a much more exciting focus other than "getting old". It's exciting to see them step into their purpose, find the courage to make those bold decisions and, best of all, begin to fully love this next phase, embracing the rest of life instead of missing out. Meet with me to set up your Personal Aging Beautifully Plan (free with no obligation)