We fear that the magic starts disappearing along with our dreams after we hit the 50 marker in life. And magic - the wonder, the beauty, the miracles - is one of those things that makes life worth living. Could it be that losing the magic is what makes us feel as if we're aging?
Hear a story about a miracle that transformed the heart of one women from cold and hopeless to giving and overflowing with love. She looked up - what did she see that opened her eyes and woke up her heart?
Miracles are everywhere. And basking in their warmth will keep you from getting old - no matter your age.
In this episode, we look up...we consider what it means to be Open - the "O" in S.O.F.T. and how it lights you up, creates meaning in your life. Shift your focus from "getting old" to living in a much higher purpose.
The Secret Inner Hero Creed:
I am strong. I have been through hell and kept walking. I never give up in the face of challenge. I am a Warrior.
I am worthy. My heart is on par with all others. I have chosen to simply let my shine shine. I am Magic.
I am beautiful. I no longer need to be convinced. I choose to live from a heart of love where Not Enough transforms to Brave Enough. I am a Lover.
I am a Masterpiece. I choose to be the Master of who I am even when it gets messy. Growth trumps perfection every time. I am enough. I am the Sovereign of my life.
Bernice McDonald is a Mindset Coach who inspires women beyond 50 seeing their dreams disappearing off into the distance as they age. She gives them new eyes and a new fire inside as they step into their purpose, find the courage to make bold decisions and grow to fully love this next phase.
You do realize right that women over 50, have this amazing magic flowing in their veins, right?
Well, if you didn't realize it, let me tell you about that. Can you imagine what that would be like... to have magic just exuding from you, creating this circle of light around you? I'm not talking about magic with a magic wand. I'm talking about the feeling of being someone that has latched onto something special in life. Can you imagine what that would be like to just kind of "glow" with joy? To glow with peace? To have things inside of you that create this atmosphere around you where people just want to be there.
They just want to be with you because you give them hope, because you give them laughter, because you give them a sense that everything is going to be okay. You have that magic. A magic that can transform the undesirable to exceptional. You can create that atmosphere where people will love to be around you. You have a magic inside of you that can take what's broken and find the beauty inside. Growing older doesn't mean that you have to become invisible.
It doesn't mean that you have to be afraid of every wrinkle, every gray hair that you find. You don't have to be afraid that you're actually shrinking.So that you're actually fading away. That somehow more suffering is coming in your life. The secret is - now listen, -because this is the secret that I've discovered to getting older. The secret is to focus on something other than the fear of aging, to focus on something that's way bigger, something that's way greater than the fact that you are in that last quarter of your life.
That's why I came up with this acronym and I live by this. I actually am also walking with you on this path. I am becoming S.O.F.T. and Strong, and that is where my focus is. Now that word 'soft', in case you haven't, if this is the first time you've joined us here, that acronym S.O.F.T. stands for four qualities that you could be developing every day of your life; that you need to focus on. The "S" is to be strong on the inside so that you can enjoy just relaxing into being soft on the outside.
The "O", which we're talking a lot about today, is to be Open. Open to the magic that is all around you. "F" stands for fearlessly loving and "T" stands for being true to yourself, both of which we're going to talk about in the next couple of episodes. Sleeping Beauty fell asleep because she poked her finger on a spindle of pain. You know, we're not that dissimilar. We poke our fingers on many spindles of pain in our lifetimes, right?
And every time we do, and as we collect more and more pain in our life, the temptation is to do what Sleeping Beauty did. Just go to sleep. To put our hearts to sleep. Then all around us this wall of thorns grows up that prevents other people from getting in so we don't get hurt anymore. And a Fiery Fear Dragon stands guard outside with all the stories that remind us of why we need to stay sleeping and protect our hearts. Is that what you want your life to look like though? Because this is what I've seen so many women do.
As they get older, they let their hearts go to sleep. The consequences, though, the cost is so enormous. This wall of thorns, grows, thicker and thicker and you'll get to the place where you can no longer feel anything except anger or bitterness or regret that your life didn't turn out the way you thought that it should. The cost for that is that you shrink and you get smaller. And the fear of you becoming invisible actually comes true.
Well, let me tell you this story. I watched a movie, a Christmas movie all by myself yesterday. My husband was working. I was home by myself and I thought at first it was sort of a loser movie. It was on Netflix and it's called"Last Christmas". But I'm so glad that I hung in there with it because it taught me something. And I ended up, actually, just crying my eyes out at the end. The heroine is a hard, hopeless woman. She was drinking too much, sleeping with anybody she met in a bar. She was bitter. Her family relationships were in tatters. But underneath it all was this fear.
She had had a heart transplant a few months before and she felt as if she no longer knew who she was. She didn't know what her life was about. Nothing seemed the same as it had before she had had her heart taken from her. So, as she told this wonderfully handsome and kind guy, of course, that she met, she felt as if a piece of her had slipped away. She felt lost. Well, he was so good to her. He listened, he cared. He taught her to stop looking at the ground in front of her - the next step, the next step, the next step.
And instead to look up. She was amazed. "Up" were rare birds that she hadn't seen before. "Up" were signs that she had never noticed. "Up" were the stars and the beauty of the heavens that she had never taken the time to take in. When she opened herself to looking up, a whole new world was there. He taught her that life, yes, is messy and hard. And of course it brings trauma. It brings things that are hard to get your head around to handle but that's okay because, in handling all of that, you don't have to be perfect.
You don't have to do it well every day of your life, all you do is you live it. But the important thing is that you live it with love that you let your heart be filled with love. And you see things around you that you may not notice when you are putting your heart to sleep like Sleeping Beauty because of all the pain. This woman ended up finding purpose and helping those in a homeless shelter that he introduced her to and using what she felt that she had lost, which was in her case, her voice, because she always had loved to sing and wanted to be an actress on the stage and be able to sing.
But she had lost her voice when she had lost her heart. But she started to see the suffering of those around her. That was greater than what she felt herself. They had no homes, none at all. They had no families. And so she started little by little using her own voice to begin to raise money, to help the people in the homeless shelter. Now she wanted this guy to stay with her, to never leave her but he told her that he couldn't do that. There was a reason why he could not do that.
And in the end - aw, it just makes my heart hurt. But in the end, it turned out that the heart that she had been given in the transplant had come from him. He had been killed, hit by a car at the same time that she had needed a heart. She was living in the middle of a miracle. She had met the man who had given her life. The last time she saw him, they were in a little secret park that he had shown her. And she was sitting on a bench.
He knelt down in front of her and he took both her hands in his. And he told her that she would have had his heart, no matter how it had happened. She always would have ended up with his heart. But in this case, she actually did have his heart. And he asked her to please take care of it, to live from that heart with love. And on the bench where she sat was this little sign, this little dedication sign. And what it said was his name and the years he had lived and the words, 'Look up". He had been given to her to help her to open. To open to possibility, to miracles, to look up and see what she was not seeing in her life.
She had not lost a part of herself but, rather, gained a new part. The same is true for you. The same is true for me. You are a heart walking on a path. An individual with so much that life has taught you. So much that life has given you. You may have lost a part of your heart along the way but the heart is the most amazing thing. It grows back stronger than anything else in your entire being. You are a heart.
So let's make a promise to each other. Let's promise that we are going to look up. We're not going to just look at the ground and take one foot, put one foot in front of the other and just keep trudging through this life. We are going to be open. Open to miracles. Open to possibilities. And we are going to give the strength, the love, what is inside our hearts away to help what we see. To help in some way. To lift up, to give, to create that magic, not only in our own lives, but also in the lives of others.
And here's the most beautiful gift of this. When you are giving away love and encouragement and help in some way, you are creating a happiness and fulfillment that nothing else will give you in this entire world, in this life. The Secret Inner Hero Society - that's what I call us - the ladies who are working to live in that life of miracles. To be S.O.F.T., to be open to the magic. the creed, we have a creed, and this is how it goes:
I am strong. I have been through hell and kept walking and I never give up in the face of challenge. I am a warrior.
I am worthy. My heart is on par with all others. I have chosen to simply let my light shine. I am magic.
I am beautiful. I no longer to be convinced. I choose to live from a heart of love where 'not enough' transforms to 'brave enough'. I am a lover.
I am a masterpiece. I choose to be the master of who I am. Even when it gets messy growth, trumps perfection. Every time I am enough, I am the sovereign of my life.
That's our creed, the creed of the Inner Hero Society. This Secret Inner Hero Society because we are living strong. We are walking this last quarter with everything we have, not focusing on the fact that we are getting older but rather focusing on the fact that we are getting softer and stronger. Live in the magic, my ladies. Alright.
I am so enjoying talking to you. I hope that you are coming along for the ride over the next year because there's lots of new things happening in the meantime. Remember to look live in the magic and I will talk to you in the next podcast.