S.O.F.T. and Strong: Midlife Women On A Mission

Episode 50: What's Your Word? Naughty? Nice? Or Simply "Brave"?

December 12, 2021 Bernice McDonald Episode 50
S.O.F.T. and Strong: Midlife Women On A Mission
Episode 50: What's Your Word? Naughty? Nice? Or Simply "Brave"?
Show Notes Transcript


Your word... how do you describe yourself?

Are you in the naughty word group?

Or the generic "nice" group?

Some of us label ourselves pretty harshly.

A Christmas ad I saw recently touched my heart. What it suggested was that, for some kids who are fighting illness or long term traumas at the most festive time of year, their concerns are not being "naughty" or "nice" - they are just wrapped up in being "Brave".

I thought, "Wow! How true of every woman who has walked their Path for more than 50 years, navigating their way around the  bombs in life or boulders dropping out of nowhere."

Put all other labels aside and just stamp "Brave" across their lives.

You are....so Brave. And you have lived all these things because of who you are. That person inside can be described in a "WORD" that tells you exactly what you're here on this earth to do - to BE.

That key WORD describes your Super Power which comes out of all you've been through and is meant to bring light in some way to the world you live in. To give you purpose. Often you aren't even aware that you are living it. It's how YOU show up in the world.

In this episode, I give you the questions to ask yourself so you can strip away all the "naughty" and "nice" associations and find your passionate word. Your life word.

After you're 50, THIS is what will inspire you to stop focusing on the wrinkles, chin hairs and aging aches and pains to, instead, become engaged and  enthralled with  this last quarter term in your life.

Become a member of the Secret Inner Hero Society. This is your ticket in!

Bernice McDonald is a Mindset Coach who  inspires women beyond 50 seeing their dreams disappearing off into the distance as they age. She gives them new eyes and a new fire inside as they step into their purpose, find the courage to make bold decisions and grow to fully love this next phase.

Are you in the struggle of navigating midlife with grace and power? I hear ya!

How about a daily injection of "Beautiful Warrior wisdom" injected into your day?

"The Way of the Beautiful Warrior." Our brief daily emails provide insights and inspiration, turning the challenge of midlife into an empowering adventure.

Click this link and embrace your journey as a Beautiful Warrior today.

So somebody says to you, "Tell me about yourself." What do you say? Do you use all the words that kind of fall into the naughty territory? Or do you use kind of lukewarm words I fall into the nice territory, or do you have a belief, such a belief in yourself that you would consider yourself and describe yourself as brave, brave enough to live your life in a way that makes a difference. Brave enough to know that word that describes how you are meant to show up in the world and how you make a difference today.

We're going to talk about how you can find that word. You can be brave enough to live a life beyond 50, that takes your breath away. So come on in and let's do it. This is the podcast that walks you down the path from not enough to brave enough for love for life, for making a difference in this world. However, that looks for you. This is where the secret inner hero society is alive and well. And you are going to be inspired by the stories of women who are doing it, being brave enough to love, again, to live this life with courage.

(1m 24s):
I'm Bernice McDonalds, and I am excited to have you here. So get on in here and let's do this So it's almost Christmas at the time of this recording. And I just saw the most beautiful ad. I believe it was for a children's hospital or a children's charity, but a children's situation where our kids are sick and having to have surgery on their, in the hospital. And the whole slogan was about these children are not naughty or nice.

(2m 4s):
They're just brave. And I thought, wow, that is so powerful. By the way, I am very proud of myself for being brave enough to be recording episode number 50. Wow. It's taken me a little over a year to do this, to get to this place. Many ups and downs and fears and trap edition trepidations, and all of the things that go with being uncertain, if you're going in the right direction or how to do something new, but I made it this far to episode number 50.

(2m 46s):
So whew. Celebrate with me. But the thing that I want you to do is really the thing that I want to give to you through this podcast, soft and strong, how to be brave enough for love, but not just romantic love, love for your heart. Love for life. Love for who you are and living that out after 50 live in your lap, the last quarter of your life, as somebody who enjoys and embraces who they are.

(3m 30s):
So it's not about defining yourself as naughty or nice, but rather to see yourself as being brave, because really it's all about identity. Isn't it. It's asking the questions. Who am I, who do I want to be? And what is keeping me from being that? What is standing in my way? What is the wall? That very question. What's the wall. That's keeping me from being the best that I can be becomes your most epic challenger in this life.

(4m 14s):
If you can overcome that challenger, you are out for the races, as they say, you will be able to keep walking your path with strength and joy and dignity, because that wall is really your fear story. That wall is your focus. And when you see clearly that what you're focusing on is holding you back from becoming everything that you are meant to be whoo. That's where the magic happens. Last episode, we talked about finding your word because when you think of your identity, it's who you are.

(4m 58s):
It's who, you know, deep inside that you are meant to be who you are when you strip away all of the expectations, others put on you, all of the things that you don't like about yourself, it's who you're meant to be and how you are meant to show up in the world to make a difference. That my beautiful ladies is the place where you need to go to be the most incredibly effective person. The most, the person who owns who she is. So let's figure out your word. We always label ourselves life does that to us.

(5m 43s):
We create labels for who we are, my labels, which is what, how I define myself up until I was probably close to 50 and beyond was unlovable. That was one of my labels. I also felt like I was an irritation that came out of my childhood and I never even realized that until I started to really think about how I summed myself up. And you can see when those become the barriers, when those become the definition of who I am, you can see how that will stop you from doing what sprays, how that will, will stop you in your tracks.

(6m 27s):
Many times when you try to take that step forward, the good news is soft is the news strong. That's why I created the acronym soft, because what we want to do is grow your strong, but we want to do it in a way. So you're strong on the inside so that you can be soft to the world on the outside. Because when you're soft, you're open, you're facing your fear. You're fearless. You are, you are loving more than you're fearing. You're letting your love conquer your fear and your, your seeing the people around you with a softness.

(7m 11s):
And they are feeling that in you, which makes you way more effective. So the word soft becomes a pathway to being the best to you. How are you going to feel when you are the best you you're going to feel beautiful. You're going to feel intelligent. You're going to feel accepting of your strengths and not focusing on your weaknesses. You're going to be at peace with your life. You're going to be at peace with who you are, knowing this sets you free to not have to be like anyone else or to be what someone else tells you that you should be.

(7m 58s):
Doesn't that sound amazing? Wouldn't you just love to live your life like that. I hope that you've had a taste of that. The secret to this is to find the hero who lives inside you. You are not your body. You live inside your body. And as we age this as a really, really important thing to grab onto you are a person walking on a path. You are a heart, your heart, or your soul, the core of who you are, whatever you want to call it, I call it your heart lives inside your body.

(8m 45s):
When you realize that that you're walking this path on these bombs, go off on these boulders, drop on you, rendering you powerless for a little while. When people throw rocks at you from their own paths, rocks like hurtful words or actions or expectations. When that happens to you, you the one who makes the decision about who you are going to be in the middle of all of that. You have that power to make that choice. And you're the only one who can do it for you. Your most epic mission is this it's defined that hero that lives in you to find the person inside who has this identity, that believes in herself, that that knows she has the power to make her own decisions about who she's going to be and how she is going to again, show up in the world.

(9m 49s):
Now your word, which is your super power becomes the center of your character. And what I've found is that, instead of saying, you have a purpose and have this big, you know, to start with the mission, that huge mission about I'm meant to stop world hunger. It's so much easier to find the core of who you are, the heart of who you are, and just to become that every day, all the time, wherever you are, your word becomes the expression of your soft. It's the core of your strength.

(10m 29s):
That's the essence soft. It's the fire in being open to the magic open is the Owen soft. It shrinks your fear. It becomes your love in action, which is greater than fear, which is the AF in soft. And it gives you an anchor for being true to yourself, which is the tea and soft. So you are strong. You are open. You are fearless because you are love conquers, all fear, and you are true to yourself. My word is to inspire.

(11m 10s):
Now I am such a nerd. I had to go look up the definition and this is what I encourage my clients to do. To look up the definition. When you latch onto a word that feels true to you, find out what it means to inspire. I won't read you the whole thing because it would take you an hour. But to inspire to me means to impart courage, inspiration, and resolution, to animate, to cheer on, to embolden, to light the fire in other people. That's literally what inspire me. That's why I am doing what I do.

(11m 51s):
Now. I can be that anywhere. Any time I can see inside somebody else's heart and see what they're afraid of being, and encourage them to become the true person that they are. So how do you find your word? Wow. I have an entire process for you to help you define it and to live it in the secret inner hero society. I'm going to be opening up spots in the society very soon. So keep your eye on my website. In the meantime, though, I have these questions that I want you to ask yourself and to think through.

(12m 36s):
And these were triggered by the book again, the big leap by gay Hendricks. So if you want to get some inside information on that, download that book. Number one, what do I love to do now? For me? I sad. I love to have deep conversations with people. I read it this because I wanted to really nail this down and see if I was still on the right track. So I'm going to tell you what I, well, how I answered this to give you an idea for how you can do that. But I just love to have deep conversations with people. That's the long and short of it. Now that that leads to the second question.

(13m 17s):
What work do I do? That doesn't seem like work well, for me, it is to help people see their own intrinsic value, to have clarity, to see them break through, to believe in themselves. That kind of work does not seem like work to me at all. You're going to be different. You're going to have your own thing here, but seek it through. Now the third question, what could I keep on doing forever? And not even notice the time passing while for me to learn from someone who is writing and talking about the heart about purpose gifts and the zone of genius.

(14m 3s):
This is an important thing to know, because you need to know what feeds your soul. You need to know what inspires your heart. What are you doing when you are getting filled up? Because you need to tap into that in order to be able to grow your word, to be able to grow the influence that your word is going to give you so that this is where we need to look at what your unique ability as our, I call this your superpower. What are you really, really gifted at doing? And there's no room for humility here.

(14m 44s):
There's no room for judgment. This is not a naughty or nice situation. This is almost stepping away from yourself and being very objective and just looking at yourself. What is it that you're really good at doing and love to do the way that you can find this is to finish these statements. I'm at my best when fill that in for me, it's when I'm talking to people about who they are at their best. The second part of this is when I'm at my best, the exact thing I'm doing is, and we fill in that part.

(15m 31s):
What are you doing when you feel absolutely at your best? For me, it's sensing who people are and bringing that what I observed to their attention. That's what I'm doing when I'm absolutely lost in time. And the third part of this is when I'm doing this, the thing I love most about it is what I love most about it. When I am doing this is I see their eyes light up. I feel them searching for what's true. I feel them letting go of their fear just for a second, believing that there may be good in them and catching a glimpse, grabbing onto that and believing that seeking and clinging to that answer.

(16m 24s):
I feel an inner glow of warmth and excitement when I'm doing this. And this is going to be true for you too. You are going to feel that inner glow of warmth and excitement. When you are in your zone of genius, when you are doing what you love to do, what you are made to do, this is why I am a coach. This is why I do what I do and have been building this business and now creating the secret inner hero society, because this is who I am. And my word is to inspire.

(17m 7s):
I inspire. I inspire everywhere. When I'm talking to a grocery clerk, I try to light them up. When I'm talking to people I work with, I want to see their heart. I want them to see their heart. I want them to appreciate their hearts. I do it everywhere with my family. I do it when I'm on vacation, I do it with my husband. This is who I am. You may be able to say, I love, I encourage, I help. I lighten a load.

(17m 48s):
How about I joy? I hug in some way. I don't know how you hug. It's not always physical. I know a lady who has a job as a hugger. She lives in California at a farmer's market. I think she's back to that now after COVID, but that's so she expresses what she has to give to the world. How she shows up yours might be. I believe, I believe in people. I believe in the good, I believe in, in having a purpose. That may be your word. I softened. I give, what is your word?

(18m 29s):
It's a beauty of knowing your word. As you can stop thinking of yourself as naughty or nice or unlovable or an irritation. And instead you can think of yourself as brave, brave, because you're showing up as who you are deep in your heart. This is how you become strong on the inside. So use that. You can live as a soft reflection of who you are on the outside, toward the world, and stop focusing what's happening in your body. On the aging process, stop focusing on all the events that are happening around you, the bombs, the boulders, the rocks being thrown at you.

(19m 17s):
Instead, you can react. You can make a decision about who you're going to be in the middle of all that. As you walk your path, you can focus on what you are going to bring to the world. I love this. Check out my profile on Instagram, because I'm always back in this, up with the posts and the videos and all of that, that some of this, if you have questions, either message me. Let me help you figure this out. And remember pretty soon going to have seats open in the secret inner heroes society, where you can work through this stuff for an entire year, learning to be your best self strong, soft on outside, because soft is not for today.

(20m 26s):
I will talk to you.