S.O.F.T. and Strong: Midlife Women On A Mission

Episode 23: Let Your "Lowell" Out...Release Your Courage

February 08, 2021 Bernice McDonald Season 1 Episode 23
S.O.F.T. and Strong: Midlife Women On A Mission
Episode 23: Let Your "Lowell" Out...Release Your Courage
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Did you know you have a "Lowell" in you?  Lowell is my new Hero. He's clinically blind but he ran in the Amazing Race Canada, 4th Season. I was blown away!

I have learned a lot from Lowell about facing life and it's obstacles. Sometimes the Path that you and I are walking is very similar to the Amazing Race. Ever see love that way?

What's the next obstacle? The next clue? You rip open the envelope and SURPRISE! There's something new you have to tackle.

In this podcast, discover the "Lowell" you have inside of you and how letting the same courage he draws from become YOUR COURAGE will open your heart. Not only to life (cause that's where you practice) but to love again.

Come on in and have a listen...you may end up in 1st place!

www.opentoloveagain.com

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0 (1s):
That was Lowell. And you know what? My beautiful ladies, you have a Lowell inside of you. You can face whatever obstacles you are facing. You can be in whatever situation like Lowell was clinically blind, and you can still run your race. You could still be on your Path and do it with pride and passion and roots and an openness to life. Because, you know, let me tell you this on the side, that's going to make you open to love again, too.

1 (46s):
So you're a woman beyond 50, what is standing between you and the dreams that you have in your heart? I'll tell you, it's the Story that you're telling yourself. This podcast is about keeping our heart awake and open to love because those Stories are what close your heart and keep it locked up tightly. It takes courage every day to face those stories - about 15 minutes a day only, in fact. I'm Bernice McDonald, Courageous Happiness Coach. And that's the journey that I'm on in this life. I want you to find your heart again, to find the real you, the amazing courageous, loving, crazy, sexy woman that you were meant to be.

1 (1m 39s):
Yup. Even after 50 you're ready. Okay. Come on in. Let's take those 15 minutes right now.

0 (1m 50s):
Lowell Taylor, one of my new heroes, because I've been cooped up so much due to it being the middle of winter and recording this right in the middle of the COVID isolation season, I needed some adventure. So I decided that I was going to watch the Amazing Race. So my husband hobby and I downloaded Amazing Race Canada, Season Four, and started to watch it. And wow, it was so invigorating and it is like living a sense of adventure by watching these racers live their adventures.

0 (2m 35s):
Right? Sometimes I felt like I was actually there and my heart was in my throat.

1 (2m 42s):
Anyways, my new hero, Lowell, is clinically blind and there he was running in the Amazing Race. Now he had an incredible wife who was his partner, Julie, and she was there to support him and to help him but how well he did was - it just blew me away. He was born with a condition called and excuse my pronunciation here: Retinitis Pigmentosa, I think is how you say it.

0 (3m 18s):
And they joined the Amazing Race because I, this just brings me to tears. They wanted him to be able to have the opportunity, to see a lot of Canada and other countries in the world before he goes permanently blind. They're a beautiful family with two young sons. And here was this man who only has -can see out of two small circles in his eyes and he's living his life in a more courageous way than I would ever be able to.

0 (3m 59s):
To me, I was just like, wow, I want to be him. I want to live my life like him. Talk about walking your Path, being a person on your Path. And you have a heart and you have within your ability, that decision making power to respond to anything that happens to you. A lot of the things that happen to us on our Path... remember you enter your Path when you're born and you end your Path when you die.

0 (4m 40s):
Everything in between is really up to you. However, a lot of stuff happens to us along the way that's not within our control.

1 (4m 49s):
It's kind of like the Amazing Race, right? We're running along and they're given clues. And every time they rip open, one of those envelopes, there's a new obstacle that they have to decide how to respond to. What are they going to do? What's going to be their plan? How are they going to overcome it? And how are they going to do the best that they possibly can add it? That's sort of what life is about, right? So here's Lowell born with this degenerative eye condition knowing that someday he was going to be totally blind.

0 (5m 35s):
That was like a bomb going off on his Path, right? And he obviously had some very good teachers to help him learn how to cope with it, to help him be able to respond to that whole condition in a positive way. I'm sure he must have incredible people in his life and good on him for accepting the mentorship of others around him and the assistance of others around him. To watch him was just beautiful because it was like, he was just accepting who he was. There was no anger there, no bitterness.

0 (6m 15s):
It was like, I'm just a person. And this is what's in my life. And I'm making the best that I can out of it. As I said, that's who I want to be. I want to be somebody who's walking my Path, knowing what my situation is, what's going on around me and being the best person I can be in the middle of that. Because really the question is just like those racers, when they stepped up to each clue and tore open the envelope, they would have to ask, what do I do with this? Isn't that what we have to do every time a situation comes up?

0 (6m 58s):
So let's look at this. Let's look at this in the light of you on your Path, in your circumstances. Many of you are here because you want to open your heart to love again. You were drawn by that whole topic. And I, I hope so much that you are realizing that you are a very, very special gifted, talented, skilled, beautiful individual. You are a heart and you have so much within that heart.

0 (7m 40s):
Now you have had things happen to you in your life that are not in your control. And some things happen that are a result of bad choices or decisions but I believe you did the best you could with what you had in your circumstances in that moment. Because on your Path, it's a series of moments. Just like those racers stood there in a moment with a clue in their hand, facing a new obstacle. And they had to decide what to do right there. They had to also decide who they were going to be. They had to decide the two simple things in life. How did they see themselves?

0 (8m 20s):
Were they able to do this? Where they capable of it? And how did they see the other racers, obviously competitors in this case, which I don't recommend because we're all on the, at the same level. And actually each one of those, each pair of those competitors had to make their own choices about how they handled every single obstacle. So there you are right now. I want you to think of yourself right now, right here, in this moment, you have obstacles in front of you. You have a Path stretching out before you.

0 (9m 2s):
Maybe you have a brick wall you're facing. And you're wondering just like the Amazing Racers what you're going to do with that obstacle. So here's what you need to decide. Let's look at our Power Pillars. The first one is the Power Pillar of Purpose. In this case, you need to decide who you will be. How are you going to respond to what ever is in front of you? This becomes "your why" for doing the actions that you do, for responding to the obstacle as you're going to respond.

1 (9m 46s):
Lowell is my hero because, what I saw in him, though his life was very difficult, was an acceptance of his condition and acceptance that this is the way his life was. It had not hindered him in the ways that many other people would have let it. He had a beautiful wife, two very precious sons. He was planning to go into the Paralympics next. Like what's more amazing than that? He's actually a psychologist in Lethbridge if I understand that right. He went ahead and he is moving forward in his life.

0 (10m 28s):
But only because he accepted where he was and he's doing what he can with who he is. It's not what's on the outside. It's his heart. It's the character inside. So when you make that decision about who you will be, you are facing the situation in all honesty and you are making that choice about using your Treasure Chest, because that's what you have at your disposal, your character, it's your character that helps you to choose how you're going to handle your life.

0 (11m 8s):
How are you handling your divorce? How are you handling rejection or someone else doing things that you cannot control? Somebody causing boulders to fall on you or throwing rocks at you? Trying to hurt you? We are all are in those situations. It doesn't matter if our, if it's our romantic situation, if it's our work situation, if it's our families in all of those areas, we face these kinds of situations. And the question always is, "Who am I going to be right now, right here today?"

0 (11m 51s):
And let me tell you, when realize how human you are, when you accept who you are and your responses, and you accept that you actually do have resources available to you - when you begin to accept that this is where you are on your Path, and this is your life, the Treasure Chest will open and you will begin to see that you have resources.

1 (12m 23s):
It leads us to our second Power Pillar. The truth is... You have two choices here. You can either live in resistance or you can live in acceptance. Your Treasure Chest Is there available to you. That's what you have gathered from your experience, from your life lessons so far on your Path. That Treasure Chest holds many, many Treasures. It can also hold some ugly things.

0 (12m 57s):
You can choose to be a person who resists everything. Do you know anybody like that? Remember the fist clench it's like that. It's like you're living a life where you are clenching your fists so tightly that your nails are digging into your palms. That looks like anger. That looks like bitterness. That looks like living in this stories that say, "I am not enough" Or "I can't help it. It's just the way I am." Or this always happens to me." Or "I'm too weak. I'm too old. I'm too fat. I'm too controlling..." All those things are like holding your fist tightly.

0 (13m 39s):
But when you let it go, think even a place in your brain that gives you that feeling that washes over you, that helps you to just release. It's such a good feeling. Open your palms. Squeeze your fist. Open your palm. Squeeze them. Open. Feel how good that feels. When you are a person who is living in acceptance, "The truth is..." you face your life much differently. First of all, you face the truth. But then you look at that obstacle, like those racers did, and you decide, "How am I going to get around this?

0 (14m 26s):
I can do this." And let me just interject right here because I have never, I had a time when I got down on my knees, sometimes on my face on the carpet, because I felt like I was at the end of myself. Things were going on in life that were so hard. And I didn't know how I was going to go on. And I did not want to be somebody who was standing in resistance, pushing back at life and saying, "No, this isn't the way it was supposed to be.

0 (15m 12s):
And I'm not going to take it" because then I knew I would end up in depression. I would end up in this tiny little hole where I would just be coping where I would just be surviving. I want to be the kind of person who lives. I have a light to shine. I have a life to live. I have a song to sing - just like you do. And every time I have come to that place where I just accept and I look up and I say, "I cannot do this by, but I accept that I cannot do this.

0 (15m 55s):
I need to know how to go forward." It's like when I come to that place of surrender to that acceptance, I realize I'm in a place where I'm just human and the answers start to come. It's like from deep inside a courage wells up and I'm able to go on. My eyes are open to how I can overcome that obstacle - what I'm supposed to do, where I'm supposed to be. Sometimes it's not immediate. But the thing is, when you come to a place of acceptance, you open your heart.

0 (16m 39s):
You open your mind and your eyes to see new possibilities. Resistance keeps you blind. It keeps you stuck. So Power Pillar #1 is deciding who you will be in whatever situation you're in.

1 (17m 0s):
Power Pillar #2 is, The Truth Is..." Will you resist? Or will you accept? To accept is to open up that Treasure Chest and start to pull out all your resources. Your resilience. Your creativity. Your problem-solving abilities. Your willingness to be open, to asking for help. All of those things, your wisdom, what you know, and being willing to learn more.

0 (17m 34s):
That was Lowell. And you know what? My beautiful ladies, you have a Lowell inside of you. You can face whatever obstacles you are facing. You can be in whatever situation like Lowell, who was clinically blind, and you can still run your race. You could still be on your Path and do it with pride and passion and an openness to life. Because, you know, let me tell you this on the side, that's going to make you open to love again, too, because you need to be this person within a relationship.

0 (18m 24s):
Being in a relationship with someone is not always easy, either, as you know, but when you are the kind of person who is drawing from character, the person you want to be and know you are all the time, that is going to do you nothing but good in the midst of love. Alright. So your Hope-Filled Action, because action always follows - when you're facing an obstacle, you always take action. Even if that action is to do nothing, but I want you to take action that is filled with hope because I am hoping, like me, you want to keep going.

1 (19m 13s):
You want to be somebody who lives her life, not somebody who puts her heart to sleep. So your Sleeping Beauty awake! You have defeated and shrunk down that Fiery Fear Dragon. You have cut down that sick wall of briars around your castle and you are opening your heart to life again. So the Hope-Filled Action you can take from today is to let your Lowell out. You like that phrase? Let your Lowell out. Consider you - on a Path.

0 (19m 54s):
And again, I can't stress this enough, draw a Path. Draw us a stick, figure in your journal. Draw it and have them on stickies all over your house. Remember, you are a heart on a Path and you do have the choice about how you respond to life. So your Hope-Filled Action is to see yourself on that Path and then ask the question and write it beside your Path, the stick figure on your Path. Write that question, "What am I going to do with this situation I'm in right now?

0 (20m 36s):
Who do I want to be?"

1 (20m 40s):
And I want you to ask yourself - out of that, draw a line - from that question. Who do I want to be? Do I want to resist or do I want to accept?, Make that decision right now today? And as this next week goes by every day, I want you to take a few minutes every morning and every night. And think about that question. Who do I want to be? Am I someone who resists what happens in my life?

0 (21m 16s):
Or am I someone who accepts that I'm human and things happen in my life? And when those things happen, then I draw from my Treasure Chest of experience, of character, and I decide how I'm going to respond. And also, go watch the Amazing Race, whatever season you download. You have to pay for it but it's not very much, especially when we're not going to movie theaters these days.

0 (21m 56s):
Watch it. Become invigorated with how they face every single challenge and what they do. Watch their character and think, "Who do I want to be? Who would I be in that situation?" You have a courage in, you Pull out your Lowell and decide how you're going to live your life. Okay. I will see you in the next podcast.

I want to be him. To face life like Lowell Taylor.
You want to open to love again - it takes courage. Amazing Race courage.
Power Pillar #1: Purpose: Who do you want to be?
Power Pillar #1: The Truth Is...Resist or Accept?
Power Pillar #3: Hope-Fillled Action. Every day do this.