Season 2 Episode 5: BRAVE ENOUGH TO LOVE ALL MY PARTS
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Have I ever told you the story of the time when my boob went rogue? Yeah. You heard that right. My boob went rogue. There I was swimming in a beautiful wave pool. I was enjoying the water so much. I actually had the courage to get into a bathing suit. I have not always been a great lover of my body. So this was a big deal for me. And I happened to have been 20 pounds heavier than I am right now, but, anyways, I was lying on my back deciding that I was just going to enjoy the water. And I was floating along in between the waves when all of a sudden my husband kind of rushed over to me and pulled me up. Leaning into me, he pointed at my chest. I looked down and, oh my goodness. Sure enough. One of my boobs had popped out to point skyward like a submarine periscope.
(01:11):
As I was floating along on my back, I was so mortified. Fortunately, we were not too close to anyone else. So I think he was the only one who saw it. But you could imagine how I felt! Ever had a moment like that? I have always disliked the size of my boobs. I hated the attention as a girl, that those things brought me from guys and how I literally stood out from all the flat-chested girls in high school around me. I couldn't fit clothes properly. I couldn't wear certain shirts. It was just an embarrassment for me.
(02:06):
They illustrate a good thing. Here. We are made up of unique parts. Each of us, right? Our bodies are shaped in so many different ways. We, all of us have things that we don't like about who we are. We all of us fit into clothes differently. There's no one size fits all in anything. There's nothing that each of us is exactly the same.
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Except that we have all the same parts. We are each given a body of all kinds of proportions and sizes and similarities to own, to take care of. As we walk this path in our lives, "I am..." Remember, those are two of the very most important words you will ever use in your life. "I am not my body." I live in my body. So I'm the caretaker of this container that carries me around. Now this is very important.
(03:22):
When we consider that we get very attached to these bodies, how they look, in fact, a lot of times we believe our body is our IDENTITY. "I'm fat. Therefore I'm lunovable." My boob was sticking out of the water, therefore, nobody - people won't respect me. I am a laughing stalk. "My breasts are big so that means that I am a sex object or men can't like me for anything else other than my top parts here.
(04:07):
We equate what our bodies look like to who we are. Now, I want you to stop that because this is so important as you get older. And I have had to learn this too. Our bodies will break down. Our bodies will age. We get chin hair. We get wrinkles. We get saggy baggies all over the place. Our bodies just change because they're getting ready to reach that place where they don't work anymore and we go off of our path. We die and go on somewhere else.
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Now you live in that body and you have to make decisions about how you're going to handle what's happening in your body. And what's happening in your life. You are that heart walking on a path. When you enter it, the path, that's when you're born. When you die, you will leave the path. In between all this stuff happens including where we live, like our bodies.
(05:15):
And we make the decisions about who we're going to be and how we're going to respond to all of these criteria. All of these things that are going on. All of these situations. Now, the boob popping incident was something that happened to me. And I was inside my body deciding how I was going to handle that. So I was looking at the size of who I am. I was annoyed that I can't just wear a bathing suit and not worry about those things happening to me. Although, I think that happens to all women of all sizes. You do have to be sure that you have the right size bathing suit, right?
(06:06):
But the incident - what happened to me right there is a really good illustration of something that took place on my timeline. So the question is how was I going to respond to that? Now, A. I could decide I would never wear a bathing suit again, ever, ever, ever in my life because every time I did it would bring me back to remember this situation. B. I could just never go swimming again. Maybe I would wear a bathing suit but I would never get in the water again and certainly never float on my back. That could be another option. C. I could make it into a funny story and go on with my life as I did decide to do, obviously. And, D. I could be sure my bathing suit fits my boobs, another option. The parts of who we are, make up the whole of who we are.
(07:12):
This includes all of our body parts and all of the things happening within those body parts. But it also includes all of the sides of us in this life. And we all have decisions to make about who we're going to be. You making that decision is going to be the most key thing for you when it comes to aging beautifully. You make the choices you make. The decisions.
(07:42):
Life is simple. It's about how you see yourself and how you see others. You make the decision about how you see yourself and how you believe that you are going to handle all of those bombs that go off on your path. The boulders that fall on you and flatten you for a while or the rocks that get thrown at you by other people because they're walking their paths and feel the need, for some reason, to do that to you. These things, actually, when you begin to decide how you are going to see all of this, make a total difference.
(08:24):
Making that big decision about how you're going to live your life and the kind of person you want to be changes everything, believe me, even small situations like floating on your back in a wave pool and having your boob pop out like a submarine periscope. Even this little story is like a Boulder dropping on you and flattening you for a few minutes. And you decide how you're going to respond. Who are you going to be when these things happen?
(09:04):
So the last couple of episodes we have defined all the different sides, the beautiful sides, the incredible sides of who you are becaise you get to be a whole bunch of different people. In a sense you are an individual who shows up in a different way in all of the areas of your life. And you get to decide how you are going to be in each of those situations.
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So here's something to think about today. I want you to ask yourself these questions. I want you to think about all the sides of who you are as a single woman, as a married woman, as a mom, as a daughter, as a business owner, as a career person, whatever your role is in your paid job, who are you? I want you to think about each of those sides of you that you defined in the last couple of episodes.
(10:25):
All of the parts of you. Remember that wheel of life divided like a pie and each one has an area of your life and you get to decide who you are going to be to live in that area at the highest level. Are you gonna be a one which is not feeling real good about that? Or are you gonna be a 10 which is like over the moon? "I love my life" level.
(11:01):
So here are the questions I want you to think about today. In each of these pieces of the pie in the circle of life - as a mom, as a business owner, as a support worker, as a daughter, as a friend, as someone who cares about their health in each of these areas, who are you going to be?
(11:34):
And I want you to use the acronym S.O.F.T. because, after all, this is the podcast S.O.F.T. & Strong and that's what we're going for. YOU at your most unbelievable, at your most incredible. YOU living your very best life. Your most exciting, adventurous, loving life until the day you die. That's what we're going for. So the acronym S.O.F.T. - when you think of each area of your life - 'S' is for Strong on the inside. How do I want to be strong in each of these areas of my life?
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How do I wanna hold myself so that I look strong? What kind of words do I wanna use? What kind of language do I want to use? What do I want to believe? Those are the three things. How am I going to carry myself? What kind of language am I going to use? What am I going to believe in each of those situations? What is going to be my mindset here? What are my values? How am I gonna live them? So that's all encased in this question. How am I going to be Strong?
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Same with the 'O': Open to the magic in life. Am I going to see and stay open to the magic? The 'F' is Fearlessly Loving. How does that look in my life? In each side that I am privileged enough to live in, in my life, in everything that I am asked to handle in my life, how am I going to show up?
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How do I want to show up as Fearlessly Loving? And the 'T' in S.O.F.T. Is True to Myself. How do I want to demonstrate, to prove, that I am true to myself? How am I going to be, how do I want to be true to myself in every one of these areas? This is so incredibly important.
(13:54):
And I know it takes a bit of time, but you know, I would advise you you to write this down, draw that circle and break it into those pieces like a pie and write in there as a mom, as a wife, or a single woman as a business owner or as a doctor, as a lawyer or, health-wise or in the area of adventure, fun. How do I want my life to look? How am I going to show up as a S.O.F.T. & Strong woman in each of these areas?
(14:40):
Remember a couple of episodes ago, we talked about how you actually see yourself and then, also, how you want to be. This relates to that. Go back and have a look at your notes there. I really want you to get this because you are incredible. You are worth doing this for you to be the most amazing 95 year old that ever walked this earth.
(15:18):
Okay. We are going to continue this in the next podcast. And in the meantime, I want you to keep those boobs tucked in, okay? And I will talk to you next time.
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I'm Bernice McDonald and I'm a Mindset Coach. I help women beyond 50 who are seeing their dreams disappearing off into the distance as they age and feeling the fear of inevitably becoming invisible.
Together we identify their vision, break through the wall of fear and past stories to develop a plan that shifts their eyes to a much more exciting focus other than "getting old". It's exciting to see them step into their purpose, find the courage to make those bold decisions and, best of all, begin to fully love this next phase, embracing the rest of life instead of missing out. Meet with me to set up your Personal Aging Beautifully Plan (free with no obligation).